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The actor Gillian Anderson has just released a book of sexual fantasies. Titled Want, it catalogs a diverse range of fantasies submitted anonymously by women from around the world.

It is not the first to do so. In 1973, American author Nancy Friday published My Secret Garden, a volume that provoked fierce debate at the time and is now considered to be an important milestone in the sex-positive movement. Each book gives a fascinating snapshot of women's relationships with their own sexuality at a different moment in history.

Though attitudes, vocabulary and specific fantasy content have undoubtedly changed in the intervening half-century, there are striking similarities between the books. This is not only true of the subject matter—workplace flings and group sex are apparently timelessly appealing—but also of how people feel about their fantasies. Shame, in particular, continues to loom large in many women's feelings about their own erotic imaginings.

Past research indicates that most adults (of all genders) experience sexual fantasies, suggesting many of us have grappled with the question of whether to tell a partner about ours. Over the past four years, we have been conducting research that explores this question: how do people decide whether to disclose their sexual fantasies—and what happens when they do?

An act of closeness

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